Meditation I - Retold
Having doubts
A few years have passed since I first realized that, for most of my life, I've accepted many false opinions to be true. The thoughts I’ve had based on those opinions, are therefore unlikely to be true. Since that realization, I have made it my goal to rid myself of these false opinions. To build a new framework based on the truths discovered by science. Even though this seems to be so important, many people take so long to discover this, that in their old age they aren’t able to truly use this knowledge. Because they have spent so much time in their current idea of the truth, they might think it's a waste to spend the last of their time on earth trying to learn a new reality. So unless a person is able to free themselves from all cares, and not pursue any other passions, they will not be able to attempt an overthrow of all their former opinions.
Fortunately, it is not necessary to prove every little thing false, that’s something that would take a lifetime. As reason convinces people to not trust things that are uncertain and questionable, it’s enough to justify rejecting a whole concept if you just find a part that has grounds for doubt. It’s a waste of time to deal with each belief individually, as removing the foundation inevitably results in the entire building falling down. So we must at once start criticizing the principles on which all of our beliefs rest.
Everything I’ve learned so far in life, I’ve learned from my senses. I’ve noticed however, that sometimes my senses are misleading; it is unwise to place absolute confidence in something that has deceived you even once.
It can be said however, even though the senses mislead us occasionally about little things, things so unimportant that we can’t really observe them, there are other things that the senses tell us that can’t be questioned; For example, that I’m sitting here in front of my computer, wearing a t-shirt and shorts, that I’m typing, and so on and so forth. How could I deny that I have hands, without being compared to an insane person, whose mind is so distorted that they might believe they’re a king when in truth they’re poor; or that they’re clothed in the finest clothing, when in fact they’re naked; or that their head is made of stone, their body is glass, or that they’re a pumpkin? Obviously I’d be just as insane as they are, if I were to suggest such wild examples as, “I have no hands.” when I clearly do.
Though this is true, I have to consider that I am just a man, therefore I’m in the habit of sleeping, and in my dreams I could be any of those things that the insane person sees when he is awake, or even more absurd possibilities. How many times have I dreamt I was doing something I do every day, when really I’m undressed and in my bed? Right now, I’m certain I’m looking at this computer screen and I am wide awake, the head that I’m controlling is not asleep, I move my hands how I want, and I can see it happening; When I’m dreaming it’s not as clear as this. But I can’t forget that I have been deceived in my dreams by similar actions, and I woke up unclear as to what was just a dream and what was real; Considering this, I can only accept that there is no way to ever truly know whether I am awake or whether I am dreaming. This idea is so astonishing and amazing that I’m almost able to convince myself I am dreaming right now.
Let’s assume we are dreaming, and that everything we are doing – like opening our eyes, moving our head, using our hands—are just illusions; and that we really don’t have a body at all as we see it. We have to admit that the objects we see in our dreams are not really there, but we wouldn’t have dreamed about them unless we had seen them in reality; therefore those things, ours eyes, head, and hands, our whole body, are not simply imaginary, but really exist. Even when a painter creates a Minotaur or another mythical beast that is completely made up, they do not draw anything that doesn’t already exist in some form, they just put together different parts of animals they have seen before. If they do by chance create something truly new that has never been seen before, the colors the artist used to make the painting, have all been seen before and are real. So even if our eyes, head, hands, and body are imaginary, we have to admit that the molecules and cells, just like the colors that make up a painting of an imaginary creature, exist and are perceived by our consciousness.
Because we can’t see the individual cells that we consist of, they have a mystical like quality. They create the things we know to exist, their shape, their size, how many there are, also where and when they exist, as well as other qualities of this nature.
It is not crazy to suggest that sciences that study physical materials, Physics, Astronomy, Medicine, and all other sciences that try to consider the physical nature of things, are indeed questionable. But sciences such as Arithmetic, Geometry, and other disciplines like this, which seek to explain the simplest and most general concepts, are things that cannot be disputed: because whether or not I am awake or dreaming, two plus three still equals five, and a square only has four sides; these truths are so apparent that they can never be questioned.
The belief that there is an all-powerful god, that created us, and everything else, has, for a long time, been the go to idea of how we came to exist. How do we know that god hasn’t created an earth, sky, person, place, or thing, that does not exist as how we perceive it? Also, because I think others sometimes are wrong about the things that they are most certain of, how do I know that I’m not also deceiving myself each time I add two and three, or count the sides of a square, or any other thing I am certain to be true? Perhaps God doesn’t want us to be deceived, for he is said to be supremely good. If God does not want, for us to always be deceived, it would be contradictory to his goodness to let us even be occasionally deceived; yet it’s clear that this happens.
Some people, would be willing to deny the existence of an all-powerful being, but choose not to believe that there is nothing certain. Instead of opposing this viewpoint, lets for now just assume that everything said of God is a myth: regardless of how we came to exist, whether it is by fate, or chance, by an endless series of cause and effect, or by any other means. The odds of us being created so imperfectly that we are constantly being deceived increases as the power of whatever created us decreases. I have no other opinions on this subject, I just have to say that there is reason to doubt anything and everything I once believed to be true, so from here on out, If I want to learn the absolute truth, I have to doubt everything I am told.
It’s not enough to just know this; I must remember to practice this mindset. Because the customs and practices I’ve long assumed to be true are constantly resurfacing in my mind, almost against my will, and stopping me from being open minded; nor will I lose the habit of falling back on these beliefs, if I continue to assume they are true. These beliefs are to some extent doubtful, as I’ve already shown, but still possible, so it is just as reasonable to believe in them as it is to deny them. Because of this, I’m convinced I’m not doing wrong by not believing in creationism. I would be lying to myself though, if I were to just assume those opinions are entirely wrong, until I’ve been able to balance my old thought patterns with my new realizations, my ideas will no longer be swayed by anything other than the pursuit of absolute truth. I know that there is no danger or wrongdoing in this path, and I cannot be too distrusting, because I’m merely seeking knowledge, not taking action.
I must assume that it is not God, who is supremely good and the utmost truth, but some demon, who is very strong and deceitful, that is the reason I am being tricked. I will assume that the earth, the sky, the people, places, and things, and all things are nothing more than a dream, a dream this demon is using to deceive me; I will think of myself as not having hands, eyes, flesh, blood, or any senses; I will live on with this belief, and if I’m unable to see the real truth, I will try to see all that I can, and do everything I can to not believe in what is false, and fall prey to the demon, no matter how strong he is.
This is a difficult mindset to live with, I find myself settling back in my old ways. Like a prisoner, dreaming he is free, only to realize it’s just a dream, and dreading waking up. The prisoner does everything he can to stay in the dream; so I too, fall back into the pattern of my old thoughts, and fear remembering what I have learned, for my mind will start racing again, and I will no longer be able to rest. There is no light that will be able to illuminate the darkness of the difficulties that I have been made aware of.